Saturday, June 11, 2011

Adventures in Blob Land.

Guess where I've been. Guess! No. Don't even bother to guess because there is no way you'll get it right. I'll just tell you:

I was at bible camp. YES! Me! AT BIBLE CAMP.

More accurately I was at a bible camp, but it was bible camp-lite1. We were attending a camp/retreat hosted by the boys' distributed learning school. It was fun. There was hiking, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, rock climbing, and marshmallow roasting. There was archery, a scavenger hunt, a jungle swing, a ropes course, a zip line, a game of stealth tag in the dark, and the general mayhem that comes when children are left to run wild in the forest. My sons also participated in something called blobbing. This is my eldest:

Here's the best part of that photo: he had not yet reached the apex of his flight. He went higher than the 15 foot tall launch tower. Needless to say I have added blobbing to the list of banned activities for our family (Also on this list: watching Adventure Time With Finn and Jake, letting the dog kiss you on the mouth, riding your bike while wearing Crocs, getting a tattoo, voting for the Conservative Party of Canada).

Alas I could not participate in many of these activities because I was injured. Since I didn't let you guess where I'd been, I will now let you guess how I got hurt:

1. Shark attack.
2. I broke my arm while stealing an old lady's Vicodin prescription.
3. "Nothing makes the time at bible camp fly-by like a good ol' fashioned game of Smiting The Agnostic!"
4. Turns out chimpanzees do make bad pets. Who knew?
5. While putting a fitted sheet on my bunk bed, I snagged my big toe on the plywood and partially pulled the nail off the toe.

Correct answer: 5.

It's lame, I know. But it still really, really hurts. There was BLOOD, people. And pus. I was limping. I couldn't wear any of my shoes. I had to wear my Birkenstock sandals. WITH SOCKS! For three days. In the presence of TEENAGERS! There are no words to describe my suffering.

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1 The facility was charming, and run very professionally. Grace was recited before meals, but there was no proselytizing. As an aside, if you are uncomfortable with religion, you should avoid places with the term "Bible Camp" in their name. And if you do go, then you've got no right to be offended. Take off your hat, clasp your hands, listen to the devotion, say "Amen" and get over it.


  1. Ouch, ouch, OUCH!!! My big toe on my right foot is having severe sympathy pains RIGHT now.


    Blobbing? Looks terrifying to me.

  2. That is why I read your blog I learn things! OK blogging looks amazing in a holy crap kind of way. Both my big girls would be first in line...the eldest rode the newest ride at Wonderland today...higher and faster is her motto.

    Your toe, I can't even think about it. OUCH! Limp a lot and you will be able to have an upside as everyone rushes to help?!

  3. Oooooh. That sucks. Especially the necessity of wearing Birkenstocks with sandals - the atrocity!

    Glad you're back and that you had fun. In my old Bible camp we attended two chapel sessions daily AND had a special small-group "chat" time when we talked about all the temptations of the world.

  4. But what if blobbing failed to scare the hell out of you and scared the bejesus out of you instead? What then?

    Actually, it sounds like my kind of Bible camp. Even though I have sort of an unreasoning terror of religious types.

  5. Wow!! Blobbing looks so scary! It would be banned in my house also ~

    My sympathies for your toe. I have also had such an injury - mine was caused by wearing flip-flops while walking up the stairs and not paying attention. Not to make you feel bad, but I eventually had to visit a podiatrist and I wore flesh colored band-aids on my toe for one YEAR so I would not scare folks with my toe. You are far braver than me to wear socks with sandals in public. Much impressed!! But at a certain age, you just do what you have to do!

    Sounds like it was a big week on many levels!! :)

  6. I've actually blobbed (didn't ever think to use that term as a verb!). We had a friend's 14th-ish birthday party at a camp. It was flashlight tag in the woods at night, all sorts of voodoo in the cabin overnight, horseback riding the next morning, and the BLOB that afternoon. I absolutely loved it! We had the girl's big (BIG) dad jump off after us and that sent us a flying! As a parent, I would also feel the need to ban this. I'm sure it would've been terrifying to watch from a parent's point of view. Although that girl's dad didn't seem concerned AT ALL! Camp sounds like lots of fun, but not with an ouchy toe. Sorry about that. Those types of things seem to hurt even more than bigger injuries. I hope it heals quickly, J's took a long time when he ripped his. Take care of it!!

  7. OK. I just have to say that the game "Smiting the Agnostic" scares the Hell out of me! :)