Friday, April 20, 2012

The Ugly Side of Cute.

A quick quiz...

1. Which is cuter? A or B.

2. Which is cuter? A or B.

3. Which is cuter? A or B.

The answer for all three questions is B.  The seal pup is cuter than the Atlantic cod, the man with the hakapik, and that small vessel idling next to buddy precariously balanced on the ice floe.

It is for this very reason that the seal pup is the visual of choice for activists trying to end seal hunting in Canada. Emotion -- not fact -- is their number one weapon. You could almost say emotion is their "hakapik" of choice.

4. Which animal is hunted in Canada's sustainable, commercial seal hunt? A or B.

The answer is A.

Of course A is not as cute as B, and that is why -- as noted earlier -- B, not A is the icon of the anti-sealing movement. Animal activists are more concerned with sentimentality than with reality. Which is why they get pissy if you point out that since 1987 it has been illegal to harvest whitecoats, aka B. But the anti-hunt zealots have no issue obfuscating the truth, manipulating the media and behaving disingenuously. They have but 2 goals: stopping the hunt at all costs and getting you to donate cash.

The other reason B is used by anti-sealers in their public relations and misinformation campaigns, is because an adult would bite your fuckin' face if you tried this:

Christ, that stupid animal -- the one in the white coat -- looks scared for its life. The first rule of being an animal-lover should be "do not terrrorize a wild animal just so you can have a good photo op."

 • • • • • • • 

It really is too bad that cod are ugly. If cod were cute then animal activists would care. They would be upset that twenty years after the cod moratorium was announced, Atlantic cod populations remain shockingly low.  They would look at studies that show a correlation between the failure of the cod to return, and the population explosion of seals in the same geographic area, and they would be moved to act. They would look at the scientific data and say, "THERE ARE OVER 8 MILLION SEALS?! What the --? Maybe it's time we manage this resource more effectively."

But cod are ugly and seal pups are cute.

Cute motivates. Sentimentality inspires. Ignorance reigns. The activists have managed to get seal products banned from the European market place and the commercial hunt will die.  This makes the future pretty bleak for the ugly -- but tasty -- cod. It's equally grim for the individuals who work the commercial seal hunt to support themselves and their families. Things are also not rosy for the Inuit, who have a constitutional right to hunt seal, but have no international market for their wares.

Personally, I find this all so ugly.


  1. Well said... I guess those that wish to end the seal hunt would also prefer those animals to starve to death after they wipe out the cod population.

  2. Fuck those baby seals are CUTE!

    Did you ever hear that old Denis Leary bit from the early 90s? I just went and googled it and here you go, it's pretty funny and AUTHENTIC (I'm still using authentic).

    Hey, I love the animals too. I love my doggy. He's so cute. My fluffy little dog.. He's so cute- There's the problem. We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Yeah. Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually. "What are you?" "I'm an otter." "And what do you do?" "I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands." "You're free to go." "And what are you?" "I'm a cow." "Get in the fucking truck, ok pal!" "But I'm an animal." "You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck!"

  3. Aw look at you, writing a kick ass important blog post and shit, I feel sooo-omglookatthatadorablebabyseal!!!

  4. @Nicole -- HA! Denis Leary is so AUTHENTICALLY funny. Of course animal activists don't go after the beef industry. Beef producers have lobbyists that are just as fervent as the animal rights loonies. Plus the beef industry has lawyers and a willingness to protect their market. THEY SUED TEH OPRAH, for God's sake! The seal industry is targeted because it is the low hanging fruit and b/c (unlike slaughterhouses) the bloodshed does NOT happen behind closed doors.

    @Marty -- Their noses are like black jujubes! NOM. NOM. NOM.

  5. I like it when you get all political. Smarty pants.

    The seals are cute, no one denies that. People get so upset over cute animals and worry nothing for the humans with which they share a genus and species with. I don't get it.

  6. You are right of course, but I am a beef farmer, and I have to admit I get fidgety when they start bad mouthing us. Seals are a surplus renewable resource - rayon isn't. But beef is good and harvests areas that could not be practicaly harvested otherwise.
    We have a whole generation of people who try to think with their emotions instead of their brains.
    Too bad eh?
    This is Beck's Dad

    1. Beck's Dad -- I apolgize if my glib comment about the beef industry offended you. I did not mean to appear critical of the beef industry. I was aiming to be critical of the hypocrisy and naiveness of PETA-type activists. You're right: we have a generation of people who think without using their brains. Sadly, they are my generation and I'm constantly embarrassed by their antics.

  7. If I hadn't already found the love of my life, WoM, I would choo-choo-choose you for that honour. Well said.

    Signed, a lapsed Newfoundlander who often feels he's in the belly of the beast