Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Best thing about the Oscars: Hugh Jackman rushing to help Jennifer Lawrence.

On Sunday I watched the Oscars for the first time in four years. I did not -- and I want to be very clear about this -- watch because Seth MacFarlane was hosting. I watched despite him.  I will not write a list of the many, many things wrong with the Oscar telecast, because Amy Davidson already did a brilliant job in Seth MacFarlane and the Oscars’ Hostile, Ugly, Sexist Night for the New Yorker. 


If Seth MacFarlane were here today (and thank God he's not) I would tell him two things:

1. Don't laugh at your own jokes. This is lesson number one for comedians, I thought. Oh, wait. Seth isn't a comedian. But I think we all realized this five minutes into the broadcast.  He's a voice actor and a producer with delusions of grandeur. Someone (Hugh Laurie, maybe? Seinfeld? Even better: Daniel Day Lewis) should have told MacFarlane he didn't need to supply his own personal laugh track.

2. You are sullying Star Trek by association. Knock it off. Go fan-boy on Twilight, Rivers.

(Yes this is really MacFarlane! 
The man's got nerve making jokes about actresses 
losing weight in anticipation of the Oscars.)

The main reason I watched The Oscars was because of Twitter. It's fun to gossip and snark with my online friends in real time.

Secondly, I watched for the dresses. But there's just so many times I can see a woman in a full-skirted, strapless ball gown before I get bored. I wish sleeves would come back in style.  I did like Anne Hathway's column dress with the halter neck.  If she'd only remembered to wear pasties and asked a seamstress to alter and soften the bodice's darts, it would have been lovely.



Finally I watched to see how well I did with my predictions random guesses. I was way off and managed to only get five categories correct (animated feature, costume, editing, supporting actress and director).

What about you, readers of my blog? Did you watch? Did you have a favourite dress? Do you wish that the Oscar producers cared more about keeping their core audience (women who love Hugh Jackman) happy instead of hiring vulgar hosts in hopes of attracting new viewers?

18 comments:

  1. I am all on board with the notion of Hugh Jackman hosting. Every year. He was a wonderful host; funny, warm, sending up the whole Hollywood machine without being an asshole about it.

    You'd think the Academy would have learned after the Hathaway / Franco debacle to stop trying to appeal to a young stoner demographic. THOSE PEOPLE DON'T WATCH THE OSCARS ANYWAY.

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    1. Turns out the Academy awards are run by three white men who want more white men to watch and are very happy with MacFarlane's ratings. Or that's what I gather from this article: Oscar producers bask in their golden glow. Fuck.

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  2. I liked Hathaway's dress too. Not sure (nipples aside) why so many people seemed to hate it.

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    1. I don't know either! She's one of my favourite actresses, I'm glad she won. I also thought her speech was just fine.

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  3. I was on the fence about watching, but since it coincided with the weekend my son had a sleep over party for his 10th birthday and an 8:00 am soccer game on Sunday, the decision was made for me not to watch by my eyelids, which totally refused to stay open after 8:30. I would be disappointed but (1) I saw hardly any of the movies at issue, (2) I really just want to see who wears what and there are a number of excellent websites that break that down, and (3) Seth MacFarlane is a douchnozzle who did not inspire me to push through the tired and watch anyway.

    Oh Anne, pointy boob darts kill even the nicest outfits. Sad.

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    1. "Boob darts KILL!" would be an excellent chapter name for a book on dressmaking.

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  4. Agree about pretty much everything, including Anne's dress. I'm unclear, though, about who actually writes the jokes - I didn't expect much different than what we got with the man behind The Family Guy, but surely he shouldn't be alone in the hot seat? I would be totally on board with Hugh Jackman getting the gig in perpetuity. Also, I hated Halle Berry's dress.

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    1. I loved Halle Berry's dress. But maybe it's because I was so happy to see sleeves that I lost my mind temporarily.

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  5. A) I love Hugh Jackman

    B) That dress makes her look like a fembot. Or an Oscar statuette. You could hurt yourself on those boobs.

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    1. I'm just not a pouffy dress girl (wait, I'm almost 40 -- maybe it would be better to write "woman") because so often they stray into "prom dress" and "bridal gown" territory.

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  6. Yes, that was the best thing about the Oscars. Also, any shot of Hugh Jackman. HUGH JACKMAN I LOVE YOU. He should host everything forever.

    I'm with Allison - what was with Halle Berry and her shoulder pads? I do love watching for the dresses. I barely register who wins or not, because I fast forward through the speeches and often accidentally fast forward through the winners. But the dresses! I loved Adele's, and Jennifer Garner's if it didn't have that giant train, and so many other ones as well that I can't remember right now because my brain died today at the book fair. THE POSTERS ARE FIVE DOLLARS. NO, THOSE ARE PENS, NOT CAKE POPS. DO NOT EAT THEM.

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    1. I didn't see Adele's red carpet dress and when she was performing I was too distracted by the fact they'd glued her feet to the stage so the only parts of her body she could move freely were her arms, to notice the dress. Is Adele always that dull to watch? Does she usually have more stage presence?

      Halle's dress had SLEEVES! That's what matters! SLEEVES! SO FREAKIN' NOVEL!

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  7. He was definitely a poor host, but like someone else said I was kind of expecting that. I just thought Anne's dress was too pale for her and yeah the darts in front looked a little dangerous. She said she had to change her dress choice at the last minute Saturday night because "it was brought to her attention that someone else was going to be wearing a similar dress" or something like that so maybe there wasn't enough time for a proper fitting?

    Hugh Jackman is the best, classy, a gentleman, smart...all the things Seth clearly was not.

    I did fair on my picks and only saw one nominated movie...a far cry from the days like you of watching all the nominated movies and being all smug about my educated "guesses" those days are over.

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    1. Evidently Amanda Seyfriedfood (I'm too lazy to check the spelling -- sorry) was wearing a similar colour and style from the same fashion label and they were sitting close to one another, so she changed.

      Did you see Brave? You have daughters so I definitely recommend it!

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  8. I missed most of the Oscars (sob!) because I had birthing class. It's the one award show I loooove to watch, mostly because I'm a movie addict. I will say Anne Hathaway's dress was really unfortunate, especially considering she won. It just looked cheap and poorly made.

    Jennifer Lawrence on the other hand was stunning. I was never that big a fan of hers until I saw her post Oscar interview where she meets Jack Nicholson. If you haven't seen it google it. So ridiculously real and adorable.

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    1. I did see Jack and Jennifer! It is cute -- she thinks fast on her feet. I also hopes she runs fast on her feet because while the flirty banter with Jack was great I do not want Jennifer to wind up with that dirty old man. Jennifer Lawrence has been a bit of a revelation to me since I kind of only think of her as being a teenager in the Hunger Games books. Her dress seemed to suit her personality, and was very youthful.


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  9. I didn't watch the Oscars, but watched a recap the next day with my nine-year old daughter. She then had a song stuck in her head about BOOBS, which was disappointing. I don't tend to see many of the Oscar movies, so am not usually that interested. I did see, and enjoy, Les Mis, so was excited to see how it had done. I wanted to watch their performance, which made me a little weepy if I'm being honest.

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    1. My boys missed the boob song. Thank heavens.

      The 9yo is keen to see Les Mis, but I'm not sure. Call me crazy but I'm not ready to explain prostitution to my boys. Not for a long long time.

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